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Respect & Honor

July 04, 20232 min read

​Happy 4th of July!

I want to share a story about the power of honor and value that could truly transform your marriage, regardless of your current marital situation. The story is a Polynesian legend that, no doubt, is rooted in truth. There was a Polynesian island tradition that when a man wanted to marry a woman, he would have to offer the bride’s father a payment he believed to be of equal value to what she was worth. Most men would give a pig, chicken, parrot, or some similar small animal. For a woman who was exceptionally beautiful, the suitor might be willing to offer his goat.

One day, there was a woman in the village whose name was Isabel. Isabel had just reached the age to be married but she was considered to be more plain and ordinary than most.

She did not have many suitors. One potential suitor offered Isabel’s father a goose. Another potential suitor offered Isabel’s father a rabbit. One suitor came along, however, and offered her father ten of his finest cows. Everyone was shocked. No one had ever paid so much for a bride.

All the other young men walked away saying, “No woman is worth that much!” Everyone thought the suitor was foolish and extravagant. But this suitor knew exactly what he was doing. Knowing the value her suitor had placed on her, Isabel began to hold her head higher as she strolled through the village. She, after all, was now the famous “ten-cow woman.”

She paid more attention to her speech, her dress, and her way of conducting herself. She became confident and elegant. Her facial expressions became kind and gentle. Her body movements were graceful and elegant. Her voice was soft and caring. She became what she believed her worth to be and developed into the most stunning, beautiful, and graceful woman on the entire string of islands.

Everyone marveled at the young woman’s transformation and all thought the lucky man had received full value for his bride price. The truth is he had, and so can you.

Begin to view your spouse and your marriage through this “Ten-Cow” lens that says and believes that your marriage and your spouse are the most precious and valuable things in your life. Begin to treat your spouse like they are the most valuable asset in your life, and you will quickly begin to see a transformation in your marriage and your spouse. Start today! If you know of anybody who might benefit from this post, please share it.

If I can ever be of any assistance to you and your spouse, please know that my passion is helping good marriages become great, and healing broken marriages. If you would like more information about my non-traditional approach to marriage counseling, go to or call me at 314-606-4272.

Until next time, keep falling more in love.

The Marriage Coach is dedicated to helping roommates become soul mates.

David Rispoli

The Marriage Coach is dedicated to helping roommates become soul mates.

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