The Power of Gratitude

When Douglas Conant took over as the CEO of Campbell Soup in 2001 the company was on the verge of bankruptcy and the company’s stock was plummeting.    Of all the major food companies in the world, Campbell Soup ranked last.  It was up to Conant to turn the organization around.  Conant described the organization's culture as toxic.  Employees were disheartened, trust was low, and a lot of people behaved like victims.  The approach that Conant used to turn things around was unusual but extremely effective.  Within a few short years, he had successfully rescued the company and Campbell Soup became great again.  The strategy that he implemented works wonders in marriages as well.  Even if your marriage is failing, this approach can work for you.

   The approach that he used was gratitude.  He cultivated a culture of gratitude.   He not only cultivated it, he lived and walked it.  Literally.  The first thing he did was to purchase a pedometer which he wore on his belt.  Whether he was at the headquarters building in New Jersey or at a production plant in Europe or Asia – he put on a pair of walking shoes.  His goal was to log 10,000 steps a day and to personally express gratitude to as many employees as possible.  The exercise had multiple benefits.  Not only did he get in great shape, get a front-seat view of what was happening in the company, and gain insight into how to make things better, but mostly it demonstrated to the team that he appreciated them.  This appreciation turned the organization around.  The second thing he did was commit to handwriting up to 20 notes of appreciation and encouragement every day.  After 10 years it amounted to 30,000 handwritten notes.  The strategy of gratitude turned this company around making Campbell Soup one of the most successful companies in the world. 

   The strategy of gratitude can also have a profound impact on your marriage.  It is a key ingredient for building a strong and fulfilling marriage.  Gratitude not only enhances marital satisfaction but also strengthens the emotional bond between you and your spouse.  Here are three steps that you can implement immediately to improve your level of gratitude.

Step 1: Shift Your Perspective

The first step in cultivating gratitude in marriage is to shift your perspective. Instead of taking things for granted, make a conscious effort to focus on the positive aspects of your spouse. Reflect on the qualities and actions that you appreciate and value. By redirecting your attention from things that are not working towards gratitude, you begin to see your partner through a lens of appreciation, allowing you to cherish and celebrate the unique qualities that drew you to them in the first place.  I have found that we tend to find what we are looking for in life.  If you are looking for the negative, you can find it.  Shift your perspective and look for the positive.  

Step 2: Practice Mindful Appreciation 

To cultivate gratitude, it is important to practice mindful appreciation regularly. Set aside dedicated time each day to reflect on and express gratitude towards your partner. This can be done through verbal expressions of appreciation, love notes, or small acts of kindness. Take the time to notice and acknowledge the efforts and gestures made by your partner, no matter how small. Do this daily and track yourself for a while.  Get into the habit of expressing appreciation daily.  By actively appreciating each other, you create a positive feedback loop that encourages both partners to continue nurturing the relationship with love and care.

Step 3: Check in with each other regularly 

As you are cultivating a culture of gratitude in the marriage, take time regularly to check in with each other and discuss how you are doing in this area of gratitude.    Ask, do you feel appreciated?  How can I make you feel more appreciated?  What do you need most from me right now?

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